From the dark to the dawn

  My son said a few days ago, “Mom, if you think about it, everything is a paradox.” The more I sit with that thought, the more examples I find in everyday life. Some are simple. Some are uncomfortable. And some refuse to leave my mind. Today, this one struck me. If a man is not brave enough to accept his woman publicly, should she really be with him? But then again, what about the man who accepts her publicly, through a proposal or marriage, yet treats her like trash behind closed doors? Should she stay with him either? One strips her of recognition. The other strips her of dignity. And suddenly, what looked like a simple question no longer has a simple answer. We are often told that love should be shown. Yet love that is displayed without respect can become a performance. We are also told that love is private. Yet love that remains hidden can leave a person feeling unseen. So where is the honor? Should love be hidden or shown? What is performance, and what is an act of love? When...

Ever since I was a child, I watched movies where a perfectly ambitious, self-dependent woman would get married and almost instantly dissolve her identity into a good wife, a good DIL, a good mother, a good daughter --- everything… except herself. She would stop relying on herself and become dependent on her husband. And it seems nobody cares, not even she herself. How ironic!  She is not the only one losing herself in this arrangement. He is too. Two things happens with him also, almost instantly: 1. The man, who is ambitious, settles into being a “family man” and somewhere along the way,  forgets what he truly wanted.  2. The one who could barely understand his own emotions is now expected to carry hers too, manage them and live around them for the rest of his life. How ironic!  If she can become a GOOD mother, wife, daughter-in-law, daughter, yet fail to be GOOD AND KIND to herself,  And he can become a GOOD husband, father, brother, son-in-law, yet fail ...

Being a housewife is not suffering...  It only becomes suffering when you start believing the world’s limited definition of value. You can do much more. But first — you need to see your own worth. That’s it. Not loudly. Not aggressively. Just clearly. And your worth? It is not inside the kitchen. It is not outside the kitchen. It is not in the income you are earning. It is not the income you are not earning. It is not in school meetings. It is not in the doctor appointments. It is not in taking care of your family.  It is not even in raising your children  All of that — cooking, managing, earning, nurturing, scheduling — is work. And work is something you do. But you… You are not the work. These roles — mother, wife, professional, homemaker — They are identities. And identities are parts of you. They are not you. You exist beyond the apron. Beyond the salary slip. Beyond the school runs. Beyond doctor appointments. Beyond expectations. Beyond applause. If tomorrow the rou...

  Forgive yourself for not speaking when there was a need to, Forgive yourself for explaining when there was no need to.  Forgive yourself for accepting what you shouldn’t have, Forgive yourself for not rejecting what you should have.  Forgive yourself for not letting go in time, Forgive yourself for holding it too long.  Forgive yourself for not able to fulfill your dreams, Forgive yourself for taking your dreams for granted.  Forgive yourself when you decide not to, Make the way for peace to fill your life.

We often live under the false notion that stepping in to help makes us automatically kind. Imagine: You are stuck in a storm — cold, drenched, and shivering. A kind stranger helps you by letting you into their car. You are happy. Relieved. The problem is solved: finally, out of rain, no more drenching. Now, all you need is a towel to help you feel dry and warm. You spot one sitting in the front seat. They turn on the heater and offer you a cup of tea, but they do not furnish you with the towel. You shiver. You wait. You wonder: why not the towel? Their well-meaning help now feels frustrating. Instead of making you happy and comfortable, their help now frustrates and feels excruciatingly inadequate. Their reason could be anything. It’s possible they simply missed it, were oblivious to its significance, or didn’t realize it at all. But here is the point: They helped you in the way they thought was best for you, rather than asking, “What do you need right now?” Now, ask yourself: How man...

Today I’m not going to talk about generational wisdom, or trauma, or even traditions. I want to talk about something subtler— habits . Habits can be good or bad, right or wrong. But one thing I know for sure: they slip quietly into our lives from our parents, grandparents, siblings, and relatives, and slowly embed themselves into our core beliefs. From the day you were born, you’ve been observing and absorbing your surroundings. Back then, you were too young to question whether what you were soaking in made any sense. But now? You can . And should . If a friend or your spouse points something out or if you notice it yourself, instead of reacting defensively, try responding mindfully. Take a pause. When you catch yourself doing that small thing or big thing subconsciously, pause. Observe it. Ask: “Do I really need this in my life?” Let me give you a few examples: In your parents' home, resting might be seen as laziness. But is it? Is that what you want your children to belie...

Acceptance takes off the burden we have been holding for so long. Amor fati means the love of fate. True love can only be the fruit of acceptance.   " My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity." — Friedrich Nietzsche Now you may be wondering, who was Friedrich Nietzsche? He was a philosopher who died young but left behind powerful ideas that still inspire people all over the world. Nietzsche questioned traditional beliefs and encouraged us to find strength within ourselves . His thoughts about embracing life — not just the good, but also the struggles — remind us that when we stop fighting reality and start loving it, we live more freely. So how can you achieve affirmation? With small steps. Start with reframing. When you catch yourself thinking, “This shouldn’t be happening,” try shifting it to, “This is happening — what can I learn or do?” One day while completing mundane ...

Chokher Bali is not just a novel. It’s a reflection of the emotional ups and downs of human nature. Reading it feels like sitting on an emotional rollercoaster—you start off without knowing what to expect, get caught in all kinds of turbulence, and by the end, you’re back where you began, but not quite the same. Take Asha, for instance. She goes through all kinds of emotions—hurt, betrayal, helplessness, and eventually, maturity. But in the end, she justifies her husband's betrayal by convincing herself that he is irresistible, so anyone can fall in love with him. That one line carries so much weight and sarcasm. It makes you stop and think—what we perceive and go through is often clouded by our own ignorance. Asha believed Binodini loved Mahendra. But in truth, Binodini was furious with Mahendra for not giving her the rightful place she felt she deserved by marrying her. She was frustrated with Bihari as he deeply cared for Asha. She was jealous of Asha. Yet, she cared for her dee...

If power is exploitation, power is responsibility too. If power is destruction, power is creation too. If power is burden, power is opportunity too. If power is arrogance, power is humility too. If power is dominance, power is leadership too. If power is danger, power is strength too. If power is oppression, power is freedom too. Power does not hold itself any value. It is choice that makes it powerful. Power can bring infinite good, evil, or anything in between; it is you who decides what to do with it. In the Mahabharata, Duryodhan had much more power than the Pandavas. Still, he lost because he did not use it with wisdom. Despite his vast resources and alliances, Duryodhan's arrogance and unjust actions led to his downfall. The Pandavas, though not always perfect and truthful, were guided by principles of justice and righteousness. Their resilience and the wise counsel of Krishna helped them achieve the unimaginable. Thus, power can lead to greatness and lasting success, but its...

To all the women out there: You stood up when they told you to sit down. You asked why when they ordered you to shut your mouth. You dared to move forward when they mocked you. You fought against injustice even when you stood alone. You showed up when they tried to push you away. You gave your best when they doubted your competence. Every step you took forward paved the way for your fellow women and the ones yet to come. Thank you for persisting in a world that isn't always safe or kind to women. We stand beside each other, stronger together. Happy Women's Day! Keep shining and inspiring. More power to you!  Stay tuned! 

Yesterday, my son was in tears because of some bullies on the school bus. He exclaimed, "My life is already miserable, and you don't understand me." Feeling offended, I took a deep breath to maintain composure. "How do you feel at school, at home, at karate class? Do you feel loved and happy?" I inquired. He began to calm down. "Things are good. I'm happy at those places. I have great friends there, and at home, I have you, Papa and my little brother," he replied. Softening my tone further, I explained, "So, your focus isn't in the right place. You're giving attention to people who are strangers to you, about whom you know nothing, and who know nothing about you. Your focus should be on the people who bring you happiness . They should be the center of your life, not random strangers. If you make negativity the center of your life, your life will be negative. Conversely, if you make positivity the center, your life will be positive....

During our vacation in Goa last month, my sister-in-law (devrani) said, "As I grow older, I realize that Anshuman (the projected antagonist from the Hindi movie 'Jab We Met') was not actually as wrong as he is portrayed. Geet (the heroine of the movie) was too restless and acted without thinking."  I didn't comment at that time, as I only remembered glimpses of the movie (it was released in 2007 and not on my favorites list) and had forgotten the context. After a wonderful week in Goa, upon returning, I rewatched the movie. Now, I have a few points to share as Geet's decision to run away from her home is a pivotal moment in the story (of course, I shared them with hher first): Geet perceived that she had to run from her home because her family wouldn't allow the marriage. She did not talk to her family about her love life, how did she know? Whether Anshuman knew of this remains a question unanswered in the movie. Even though going against her loving and ca...

Mother-son love.   I have been chastised by numerous relatives and friends alike for allowing my 7.5-year-old son to sleep beside me. Yet, I deflect their criticism with a gentle smile, for they cannot fathom the waterfall of emotions within me. They fail to grasp that I simply do not care what they think because the truth is far more profound. In the depths of my heart, I feel a mixture of sadness and longing. I fondly recall the days when my little one, at just one year old, would peacefully slumber beside me, clutching my hand with tiny fingers. There were moments when he would awaken during the night, seeking solace and desiring my comforting presence. I can still sense the delicate caress of his hand tracing my face. Those times held immense significance and remain etched in my memory, yet they couldn't endure indefinitely. They gracefully slipped away, akin to a beautiful dance. These memories evoke a deep longing within me as I witness my son growing up and the relentless pa...

It is early Sunday morning, and Shalini is lying awake, tossing and turning in her bed, smiling as she thinks of her fiance, Mohit. They had a short yet sweet encounter last weekend, albeit in the company of his friends ( you can read about it here ). Despite not having any ‘alone’ time together, the memory of it is refreshing and worth preserving. Just then, her reminder rings, and tone of it shakes her out of her reverie. “The promotion exam is in 1.5 hours, at 10.00 am," it says.  Shalini has prepared for this exam thoroughly. She is determined to move forward and climb the ladder of success in her career. Being an ambitious woman, she aspires to have a career filled with dignity and respect. Moreover, the icing on the cake would be if she is transferred to Bangalore, Mohit's city, which is an added incentive for acing this promotion test. Taking a deep breath, she fills herself with energy on this otherwise lazy Sunday, ready to tackle the challenge ahead. She jumps out of...

Source : Google The sun, although a seemingly ordinary star in the  universe, located in the Milky Way galaxy holds the solar system together. Apart from being the center of the solar system, it provides the  warmth and light indispensable to the life on Earth and maintaining our planet's delicate ecosystem by its energy. The dominance of sun in our lives can never be overstated as the rising of it signals the starts of the day and its setting marks the arrival of darkness.  However, we can learn some valuable lessons on our perceptions and emotions by observing the effect of sun in our lives in different seasons.  I remember my childhood days, sitting on the porch of our home during winter vacations, baskin in the sun's rays, feeling its warmth seeping into my bones. During that time, I did not pay any heed to effects of prolonged sun's exposure on my skin (sunburns) or my mother's concerns about my brown skin getting more darker. My love for bathing in sun ray...

My grandparents used to travel only for absolute necessities. At that time, travelling was costly and time consuming endeavor. I can reach to Delhi within few hours from any place in India. But earlier, it would take days to travel from southern parts of the country (India) to travel to Delhi. The technology and improved transportation options has made travelling accessible and easier.  In earlier times, despite less technology and less travel options and more challenges, people loved to travel. To explore new places. To know more about the existence. To know more about themselves. If our ancestors had no curiosity for travel, we would have not known world as we know it today.  When I think of need to travel, all I can feel is the need of experiencing new vibes, new ways of living the life. It is always uncomfortable to leave my home to take a vacation in far away places. But this sense of discomfort translates into whole new experience and increases confidence in me. Goa Some...

In our small lives, we encounter many friendships. On most of them, we put alot of time, energy and money. It is almost hilarious barely a handful of so many actually survive the test of time. As I am writing this, I am recalling almost a hundred of people I called friend. I had put so much effort and energy into maintaining those relationships. As you are reading this, you would also be recalling a lot of names in your head with whom you had taken vows of friendship. How many of them last? Think of the good times with them. Think of the times you cried because of them and think of the indifference you feel about them right now. This is how the circle of life works. You might have made a lot of new friends after school, after college, after changing your workplace. You will make many more new friends. I need you to focus on the time you put into the relationships you don't even care after a while. They say time is the real currency. Use wisely. Most of the time, if you contemplate ...

According to Hindu scriptures, there are three qualities (Guns) : Sattva , Rajas and Tamas.  Source : Google  Everything that has been created, including us, is made up of five elements  : Earth, water, fire, air & space. These elements have three qualities (Guns) : Sattva, Rajas & Tamas. All the creation is governed by these three Guns.  Source : Google These Guns are unique and display certain personality traits in us. We all possess these qualities (Guns). During a certain phase of life, one gun dominates & other two go in the background.  It is natural  to experience these three qualities from time to time.  Sometimes you feel peace, joy, no fear and pure energy around you. Your Sattva quality (Gun) is dominating. Sometimes you are moody, restless, insatiable and full of ambitions, your Rajas quality (Gun) is in charge. When you feel lazy, depressed, angry, relaxed and destructive, your Tamas quality (Gun) is driving you.  All Guns...

It is a hot summer Saturday afternoon in June and half-day at the office. Most of the staff has already left. Shalini is unhurriedly making a list of her unfinished tasks. A while later, she looks at the clock ticking at 14.10 hours and starts working again. She belongs to Jhalawar District and moved to Jaipur last May for the job she cracked from her MBA college. In Jaipur, she lives in a 3-BHK rented apartment with her two flatmates, Shikha and Rhythm. Both are working and amicable. On weekends, they party and go to pubs that Shalini is not very fond of. Shalini got engaged to Mohit recently. Mohit is working for an MNC in Bangalore and getting married in December with him. Her parents found him through a matrimonial ad. Mohit is soft-spoken, ambitious, and intelligent. He is perfectly tall and dark. Three months prior, she knew nothing about him. After talking daily for half an hour to him she knows he talks less, listens more and values time. No doubt he is so successful. He never ...