From the dark to the dawn

  My son said a few days ago, “Mom, if you think about it, everything is a paradox.” The more I sit with that thought, the more examples I find in everyday life. Some are simple. Some are uncomfortable. And some refuse to leave my mind. Today, this one struck me. If a man is not brave enough to accept his woman publicly, should she really be with him? But then again, what about the man who accepts her publicly, through a proposal or marriage, yet treats her like trash behind closed doors? Should she stay with him either? One strips her of recognition. The other strips her of dignity. And suddenly, what looked like a simple question no longer has a simple answer. We are often told that love should be shown. Yet love that is displayed without respect can become a performance. We are also told that love is private. Yet love that remains hidden can leave a person feeling unseen. So where is the honor? Should love be hidden or shown? What is performance, and what is an act of love? When...

Ever since I was a child, I watched movies where a perfectly ambitious, self-dependent woman would get married and almost instantly dissolve her identity into a good wife, a good DIL, a good mother, a good daughter --- everything… except herself. She would stop relying on herself and become dependent on her husband. And it seems nobody cares, not even she herself. How ironic!  She is not the only one losing herself in this arrangement. He is too. Two things happens with him also, almost instantly: 1. The man, who is ambitious, settles into being a “family man” and somewhere along the way,  forgets what he truly wanted.  2. The one who could barely understand his own emotions is now expected to carry hers too, manage them and live around them for the rest of his life. How ironic!  If she can become a GOOD mother, wife, daughter-in-law, daughter, yet fail to be GOOD AND KIND to herself,  And he can become a GOOD husband, father, brother, son-in-law, yet fail ...

Being a housewife is not suffering...  It only becomes suffering when you start believing the world’s limited definition of value. You can do much more. But first — you need to see your own worth. That’s it. Not loudly. Not aggressively. Just clearly. And your worth? It is not inside the kitchen. It is not outside the kitchen. It is not in the income you are earning. It is not the income you are not earning. It is not in school meetings. It is not in the doctor appointments. It is not in taking care of your family.  It is not even in raising your children  All of that — cooking, managing, earning, nurturing, scheduling — is work. And work is something you do. But you… You are not the work. These roles — mother, wife, professional, homemaker — They are identities. And identities are parts of you. They are not you. You exist beyond the apron. Beyond the salary slip. Beyond the school runs. Beyond doctor appointments. Beyond expectations. Beyond applause. If tomorrow the rou...