Are your Intentions Assumptions?

We often live under the false notion that stepping in to help makes us automatically kind.

Imagine:

You are stuck in a storm — cold, drenched, and shivering. A kind stranger helps you by letting you into their car. You are happy. Relieved. The problem is solved: finally, out of rain, no more drenching.

Now, all you need is a towel to help you feel dry and warm. You spot one sitting in the front seat.

They turn on the heater and offer you a cup of tea, but they do not furnish you with the towel.

You shiver. You wait. You wonder: why not the towel? Their well-meaning help now feels frustrating. Instead of making you happy and comfortable, their help now frustrates and feels excruciatingly inadequate.

Their reason could be anything. It’s possible they simply missed it, were oblivious to its significance, or didn’t realize it at all.

But here is the point:

They helped you in the way they thought was best for you, rather than asking, “What do you need right now?”

Now, ask yourself:

How many times have you done this to others?

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Help should be given not on your terms (what you think is good for them), but based on their needs.
That is real kindness.

Having benevolent intentions is a good start,
but channeling them mindfully through the right questions makes your help meaningful.

It may take a lifetime to understand such a simple thing — 
but once you get it,
apply it every time you’re ready to help.

Before offering help next time, take a moment to pause and ask yourself:

• What does this person truly need right now?
• Am I listening — or assuming?
• Is this about them and their needs, or about how I want to feel?

Real kindness lies not in the urge to fix, but in the willingness to understand and then respond accordingly.

Because help that listens is help that heals.