From the dark to the dawn

We often live under the false notion that stepping in to help makes us automatically kind. Imagine: You are stuck in a storm — cold, drenched, and shivering. A kind stranger helps you by letting you into their car. You are happy. Relieved. The problem is solved: finally, out of rain, no more drenching. Now, all you need is a towel to help you feel dry and warm. You spot one sitting in the front seat. They turn on the heater and offer you a cup of tea, but they do not furnish you with the towel. You shiver. You wait. You wonder: why not the towel? Their well-meaning help now feels frustrating. Instead of making you happy and comfortable, their help now frustrates and feels excruciatingly inadequate. Their reason could be anything. It’s possible they simply missed it, were oblivious to its significance, or didn’t realize it at all. But here is the point: They helped you in the way they thought was best for you, rather than asking, “What do you need right now?” Now, ask yourself: How man...

Today I’m not going to talk about generational wisdom, or trauma, or even traditions. I want to talk about something subtler— habits . Habits can be good or bad, right or wrong. But one thing I know for sure: they slip quietly into our lives from our parents, grandparents, siblings, and relatives, and slowly embed themselves into our core beliefs. From the day you were born, you’ve been observing and absorbing your surroundings. Back then, you were too young to question whether what you were soaking in made any sense. But now? You can . And should . If a friend or your spouse points something out or if you notice it yourself, instead of reacting defensively, try responding mindfully. Take a pause. When you catch yourself doing that small thing or big thing subconsciously, pause. Observe it. Ask: “Do I really need this in my life?” Let me give you a few examples: In your parents' home, resting might be seen as laziness. But is it? Is that what you want your children to belie...