My father!

When I got married, many things changed and changed instantaneously. One of them was filling out forms. In India, most of the forms ask for information like:

Src: https://travel.stackexchange.com/questions/37233/why-does-the-visa-for-india-for-ask-for-the-name-of-my-father-husband

Before marriage, it was simple! I would write my father's name in Father/Husband name column and be over with it. After marriage, this field of the form became annoying to me. In starting days of marriage, whenever I filled a form, I used to put a slash in between and wrote both names. Almost every form-checker would exasperate and ask me to fill the form again, enraging me. They also advised me to write my husband's name only. I understood that they were doing their job. It irritated me to fill the form with my husband's name only. Both my father and husband's names are important and irreplaceable to me. I still do not understand why I need to leave my father's name behind if I am married. For boys, things are a bit simpler. It is always the father's name (nowhere the word 'spouse' is written). I know some would argue society is patriarchal and old rules must persist. I would reply that society is changing (slowly), the forms should reflect the change.

As a child (and still), whenever I needed anything (even if simple), my mother took charge and made sure I was equipped with everything I needed. She is a frontline warrior. What I missed as a child was the hand that supported her from the back. My father. My father is a backstage player, never in the limelight, and still running the show. My father gave equal opportunity to all his children to study. The in-time for all his children was kept the same throughout the school. My brother had no extra advantage over me and my sister. Every opportunity, every rule was the same in our schooling years. I was selected to a good college in my hometown. But, he inspired me to attend the faraway college. So that I would learn to live on my own and handle my issues independently. He wanted us to be afraid of nothing and always motivated us for the same. 

My first identity came from my parents, and I am proud of it. That is why I don't want to leave it behind even for filling the simplest of the forms. Although over the years, I have realized that our identities always stay with us. The forms and the patriarchy do not matter in the long run. What our parents have taught us reflects in our behavior and thoughts. I am proud that I have been raised by strong parents. A lovable mother and a strong father.